Area Man Doesn't Drink Anything Fancy, Drives $75,000 Truck
LAKE MILLS, IA—August "Gus" Johnson, a local insurance adjuster, is a simple man that doesn't drink anything fancy, the 32-year-old reported Monday while inspecting his 2022 Silverado 1500 High Country Edition. "I don't get all this craft stuff," said Johnson while admiring his truck's Iridescent Pearl Tricoat. "Why would I spend $8 for a beer when I could have a 12-pack of bullets for $20."
Johnson's friends confirm he refuses to go to anywhere that doesn't serve "real beer" as he puts it. "Gus is a great friend, I just wish he'd come out with us to a brewery," said close friend Steve Larson. "He's the only one with a vehicle big enough to fit all of us."
"A couple of times a year I'll have a craft beer, like a Blue Moon, but that's about it," Johnson said while stepping from his power-retractable assist steps into his premium bucket seats. "If it ain't broke don't fix it, I'm an easy guy to please."